no I am NOT sending him to daycare

IF there is something that really gives me the shits, its people who continually insist I put my kid(s) in daycare. It generally comes from mothers who have returned to work and have their kids in daycare. It is like they assume they need to extol the virtues of daycare so I will come to my senses. I wont. Sorry.

I have to hear how I really could use a break (no shit, like I didn't know that) and that it will help my son to learn social skills. The boy is TWO AND A HALF. He goes to playgroup, has tons of cousins and plays with the kids from across the street but apparently this is not adequate social contact for a little boy.

And yes I could use time away from him - but really, he will be at school before I know it and before long I will be pleading with him to stay home for dinner with his family instead of going out with his mates or the pub. I don't want to miss a thing. He drives me wild but he is also funny and cheeky and makes me laugh in spite of being exhausted. Why would I pay to send him away?

Yes daycare has good educational programs - but my boy can count to twenty, knows his alphabet and colours and can turn on my computer. How more educated does a two year old need to be? Yes daycare has good routines. So do I. Yes daycare has experts.....but who knows my son more than I do? That's right - no-one.

What also gets my goat is the assumption that I didn't care for my career / wasn't very good at it and this is the reason I gave it up to be a fulltime mum. This is so not true. As a fairly plain looking but clever teenager, I used my brains and future earning capacity to keep myself getting too down about my lack of looks / boyfriends / popularity.

I knew I would do well at university (I did, very well actually) and I would get a good job (yep, did that too) and I would enjoy working. And I LOVED it. I loved walking down St Georges Tce in my suit with my nice shoes and handbag. I loved getting coffee. I loved having my business cards and going to meetings and my office. I loved people knowing who I was in other organisations because I was pretty good at what I did. Sure I was under stress a LOT of the time but hey, it kept me thin.

But my career was not as important to me as being there for my kids. Simple. My choice. Dont judge it. Yes it means I am not sane half the time but it is my choice. I have put myself second for a very short period of time. It isn't that hard to do.

The thing that shits me the most however is this assumption that my family must be made of money.

I visited a school friend today. She has a beautiful (and I mean BEAUTIFUL) home. It is brand new, two-storey in one of these new estates, a LONG drive south of the city. It overlooks a park. It has stainless steel appliances and a spa in the ensuite.

Her children have more toys than TOYS-R-US. My boy loves visiting because he just goes mad with the trainset and cars.

She also has a mortgage to match. And so she works four days a week and her kids are - you guessed it - in daycare.

She said to me this morning. "You know you are lucky you dont have to work. I have to so we can eat! haha"

This really shat me. I grew up poor. I know what it is like to live on no money. I know my mum had to budget and make do. We lived in second-hand clothes and never had soft-drinks, we never ate Hungry Jacks, I never went to cool things like music lessons or Brownies.

This is when I think people 'need' to work. My friend doesn't need to work. She chooses to. She chooses to have a big house, nice clothes and nice toys for her kids. Therefore she chooses to work and spend most days away from her kids. Her choice.

I choose to shop now at Target instead of David Jones, to get my hair cut at Price Attack instead of House of Ernest and to live in a three-bedroom house that could use a bit of maintenance!

This is why I can afford to stay at home (that and re-mortgaging). And I admit, I am lucky my husband has a decent wage.

But dont throw your excesses at me and use them as an excuse for going back to work (and sorry, many of my friends do. They are the ones with the investments and nice cars). You dont NEED to work. Many people do, many people DON'T

But really, I dont like to judge other people. I make my choices, other people make theirs. It just shits me that I continually hear how daycare is so wonderful and little-Johnny is so lucky he goes and my little boy should too if I cared.

I care about him. That's why I hang out with him (and the little girl too). For better or for worse.

Ooer, not my usual post is it? Still cranky I fear.

Just curious, but is ANYONE reading this? I dont know if I can be bothered posting any more, it is keeping me from the ironing you know.....