Why intelligent women love THE BOLD

IF there is one thing that most women agree on - young or old, rich or poor, intelligent or stupid, working or housewife - it is the BOLD and the BEAUTIFUL.

The BOLD (as those in the know like to call it) is a safe place far, far away from reality, where a woman can sleep with half of her family, her children's partners, probably their kids too and still hold her head high in the family pecking order.

It is where women can come back from the dead sporting strange lip-jobs but still able to win back their grieving widows (albeit temporarily). It is where a man can deliver a baby wearing a crisp linen shirt and the only mess the sheen of sweat upon his caring but manly brow.

Some of my best friends love the bold, as do I. Of couse it is plain stupid and those who dont 'get it' don't understand how usually intelligent women get addicted.

One BOLD follower I know is a very bright women with a PhD. Another runs her own successful PR consultancy. Another (the person who got me addicted in the first place) is my former boss - a big F feminist with a masters degree. These are all intelligent, successful women who have worked hard to get where they are today.

But get them in front of the Bold and they are as about as feminist as Jessica Simpson rolling around a soapy car in her Daisy Dukes. They go goo goo over Ron Moss' chiselled body and gaa gaa over the lovely clothes women seem to wear for every occasion. They dont care that the plots are insanely stupid - lets face it, compared to crap like Big Brother, the BOLD is practically Shakespeare.

The BOLD is one of the only positives I used to see in getting sick and staying home from work. I would drag myself out of bed to lie on the lounge chair, with my doona and Milo and escape into the fantasy land of Stephanie, Brooke, Taylor, Ridge and whoever else was screwing around in nice clothes that day.

Becoming a stay at home housewife was even better! I used to time the afternoon feed time at 4.30 so I could get a fix EVERY DAY. Of course, as the little guy became more demanding, the BOLD started to become a weekly, then monthly indulgence - but it was always easy to catch up with the plot.

But this week has been hellish for more than one reason.

Both the kids got gastro on the same night - lots of sheet changes, napisan, 2am showers with spew-covered babies, spew buckets, bleach - the works.

I then got it myself and was unable to move pretty much all day except when I got up to be sick or do "the other business" or when I got called to deal with a particularly nasty episode of baby dihorrea (lovely).

But to top it off there was none of my medicine - there was NO BOLD. NONE! the BOLD WAS ON HOLIDAY!!!! What was I to do? I knew I would not recover as quickly without any mush to moosh my brain with. Well there actually is a ton of mush on telly at the moment but not the right mush!!!!

So I had to make do with watching Dora the Explorer, Thomas the Tank Engine and the CARS movie - needless to say, not too helpful for the recovery.

This is the reason for my lengthy absence from blogging. Sorry for the cheats blog. But really, had the Bold been on telly, I would have been better much quicker.